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My new mood   
02:47pm 05/02/2007
  Yeah, so I think I am going mental. I wake up and wait for the day to be done....
I hate both my jobs....it's so hard working with two guys who "know everything" and school is ridiculous...pointless. I already had a communication class....women's studies..im not learning a single thing....sociology...WHAT??!!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!		  
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What is wrong with me?!   
11:13pm 03/01/2007
  Damn it! There is something seriously wrong with me! I get paid and as soon as I get it, I either spend it or start looking for a way to spend it. I have to find a place to hide my money that I won't forget where I put it. Hmm...
Anyways! What have I been doing....
Redoing my room, sucks! I haven't been able to get anything done with a baby around...
I'M so excited about school! Does that sounds nerdy? I spose it does but oh well! I am! I can't wait to get done. I have at least 2 more years to go, but, ok, now I'm discouraged again. Fuck!
I gotta go now!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Love always,
Allison		  
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The Break-up   
04:10pm 29/12/2006
  Ok, so this is like, the 30th time I've broken up with Brendan, but yay! This one's sticking. Today has been kinda long but I feel so much better not being with him. Not having to answer his phone calls and fight about how I said something in the wrong tone of voice or some shit. Until school starts again it's going to be hard to keep myself busy enough not to get bored without Brendan to talk to. But after January 16th, I will totally forget.
Anyways, I hope I get paid tomorrow. I loved coaching volleyball and I really hope I get to do it again! Being around those girls (and a few boys) was so fun! It was so weird to hear them talk about some of the things they talked about. I didn't remember being so un-innocent in middle school. Seriously, I felt like a nube around those kids!
Yay I'm excited about going to Anoka Ramsey! Jill and I have two classes together and the exact same schedule. Carpooling is for cheap kids like us and I'm excited about it! My classes are really good too! Well, Kellenah's up so bye!

I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Just here....   
11:09pm 18/11/2006
 
mood: drained
So, right now I just feel like typing...so here I am!
This week has been terrible! Out of the 11 classes I have each week, I only went to 2 so I feel really behind. Especially in my personal and community health class. Mr. Steumke isn't exactly forgiving....yarch.
On Wednesday, we had to put Jake to sleep..so Wednesday, Thursday and yesterday were really hard for me. This is probably really stupid but we're going to bury his ashes in our backyard with his toy hot dog. :) He was a good dog. I miss him!
And today, Kellenah is super sick. She started barfing all over herself in the car this morning, and hasn't been able to eat or drink anything but water today without barfing. My poor girl.
But yeah, I don't feel like typing anymore and I have a HUGE test to study for, so...see ya!

I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Love always,
Allison		  
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Only 3 more days!   
02:48am 10/09/2006
 
mood: good
I'm so excited for Wednesday! My birthday...two decades old...half way to forty...dang. One year closer to being able to drink nasty wine, nasty beer, nasty anything. Not like it's gonna matter...I hate most of that shit anyways..but I can tell you that on my birthday, hopefully Mike and Brandy will be here, and me and Brandy can have like, 8 Smirnoff's each in one year and 3 days. Yep! It's going to be sad though. On my birthday this year, I'm going to go to school, pick up Kellenah....and do nothing. Brendan has to work and I don't really ever talk to anyone else because of always having school, Kellenah, or one of my jobs to go to.
So, I figured out another bonus to being short today! Well, besides having better hiding places, less leg to shave, now I figured out that I fit better under trees when I'm mowing the lawn! That made my day. Haha. I think I'm one of the only people on the planet, who, when I come in from mowing the lawn, I look like I got into a fight with someone...basically me and the tree branches don't get along so well.
Hey baby why you callin me...so late......
These last few days with Brendan haven't been so bad. I dunno why, but he's being less of a jerk and I'm being less of a bitch. It's weird. I dunno. I still think, in the long run, there is no future here, but I dunno. Imagining myself having to live with him telling me to apologize for pretty much nothing, having him get crazy when we're arguing and pull things out of his ass just to hurt me...I don't think I want to do that for the rest of my life. Haha. My mom asked me today "if you meet someone else and you're still dating Brendan, what are you going to do?" I look at her like "WTF? You expect ME to meet someone?!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...K.
Mmk, well, I'm going to bed so I can be awake when Kellenah wakes up in like, 4 hours. Gooooo Caribou!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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11:57pm 04/09/2006
 
mood: but overwhelmed
I'm planning on counting the number of people. I bet it will be close to zero. What am I watching on TV? Oh yeah. My Wife and Kids. Haha.
So, I have been so freakishly overwhelmed this past week with school, work and taking care of Kellenah. Arg! So I have to figure out the job at the comunity center. I dunno. I don't think that's going to work..not anymore. I would love to work there. I've wanted to work there for a long time but I don't think I can do it. The thought of being responsible for someone else's life is really scary to me. And plus, I can't make myself do any homework so I'm getting really mad at myself. I'm not getting behind at all I don't think but I'm not ahead like last Spring when I was doing super good.
R.I.P. Steve Irwin. Did you hear about that? That poor guy. I seriously had a hard time wrapping my head about that this morning when my mom told me. I had to ask her a few times if she was serious. I guess my thinking was that the guy who can work with crocodiles all his life and be fine, wouldn't die..at least not for a long time.
Yeah....so I saw Ashlyn this weekend. SO CUTE! Oh my gosh. Well, Kellenah's cuter, duh, but Ashlyn's super cute!
Well, I'm going to bed now.
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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ssschooooo....   
11:18am 09/08/2006
  uhm, I'm sitting here, not believing this crazy.....something. I can't believe Kellenah is going to be two in....17 days. Right?! Is it 17 days? I think so. Yeah. I was right. Ok, moving on. Oh ha, I just remembered that's Phil's birthday too. I hope I remember to say happy birthday to him. (not like he cares). So I was on the phone the other day, talking to something and she told me something. And it makes me wonder.....
anywho, hahahahahahahahaha. How do you flunk out of community college?! That's really fucking sad. :)
OH fuck!!!! Kellenah just broke part of my laptop off. I would be madder if it was one of the keys that I use more often. It was the z. It barely works now. I can't make words like zoo easily.
So I have to watch Paeton today. Yay! Awesome! Can't wait!
Yeah, well, I have to go.
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Mike and Brandy are gay!   
03:25pm 05/08/2006
  So, I officially can't stand Mike and Brandy. They are such selfish terds, it's so annoying..  
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First Day-not so bad!   
10:45pm 18/07/2006
 
mood: still!
I techinally I started at Kohl's today. There was this Dan kid there (kinda cute) and a girl named Margaret and Andrew, who I was at the group interview with. It was good to see him there because at the interview he didn't think he was going to get the job because of how old he was but he did so...yay! I can't wait until after this fall. I really hope I can move out and going through Kohl's and seeing all the housewares stuff and knowing I'll have a discount on it, yippee!! I wonder how long they are expecting me to work there. They wanted us all to fil out seasonal employment papers..and I wasn't intending this job to be seasonal...I guess I'll have to ask.
Class was really annoying today though! I thought it woulda been a lot worse then it was but I was getting really sick of Mary Anne Warren's view on abortion and how nobody has any rights until they have her five characteristics. Dumb bitch. If you ask me, someone should pull that bitch by the legs and cave in her skull and suck out her brains too! K sorry. Can you tell I'm pissed?!
OORRR WHATEVER!! MMK. Well I'm going to go look at more tattoos now, so....night!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison Holt		  
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Good, (no, slash that) GREAT DAY!   
11:13pm 17/07/2006
 
mood: mofo!
Ahh I was just thinking while I was walking Jake today and I realized how much good stuff happened today. Yee-haw bitches!
To start with, I got a B on my ethics test that I didn't really study for and I didn't think I had a clue about it, so yes! Then, I got to work and had a good time cuz I got to see those people for the first time in a long time. I forget how much fun it is to work there when I don't have to talk to Jerry (or other people at times) and stupid customers. Then at work, I got a paycheck from a while ago and it was actually more then I thought I woulda made in like, 3 hours a month ago. Heh. Then Noel did my review for me and I got a raise too.
Then I picked up Kellenah from Pixie's and we came home and a guy from Kohl's had called so I called him back and he offered me the job there! So yeah, I have three jobs right now...I have to pick two of them. But yeah. So I was dancing around in my kitchen for a while with Kellenah today about getting the new job and then Pixie called me saying that Laurene had called her and everything about daycare got worked out.
Ooh, I like that word. It's a good one like doofus..whank. Yep. That's a keeper.
Then! We went to Target and I got Kellenah some super cute toys for her birthday. :)
Hey, you're crazy bitch. Just wanted to sing along with my phone. Sorry!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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DAAMMMMNNNN IIITTTT!!!!   
08:52pm 16/07/2006
 
mood: exhausted
Fucking piece of shit! I am so mother fucking mad right now I can barely stand it! Fucking stupid bitch..oh well punta. Me first!
:) Night!


LOVE YOU KELLENAH!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Yarh Yarh Yarh   
09:46pm 14/07/2006
 
mood: full
So, I'm totally pissed off right now. Mike and Brandy just posted pictures of their new baby on the internet. Why am I so mad? Well, cuz they are 'tupid. Arg. I don't even know what the fuck to say right now...
So, this might be one of the last times I ever use this computer, sadly. I might sell this bad boy to help my mom out. Brendan told me I shouldn't but eh, screw him. We went out to eat at Axel's Bonfire tonight (me, zac, andrea, kellenah and paeton). It was good times. The waiter was YUMMY! And everytime he came by, we kept staring at each other. :) Teehee.
Someone should make you responsible for your man voice bitch! Sorry. That lady's (or man in woman's clothes) voice is really bugging me.
So, school sucks. I had a test on Thursday for ethics and I finished first and I saw the teacher looking through my answers and I was trying to read his face while reading, but apparently I am not Ms. Cleo..I couldn't fucking tell. I'm really worried because I'm not doing so well in either class right now. It's so damn hard for me to do my homework since it's been so nice out I don't want to sit inside. And I've been planning Kellenah's birthday party like crazy these past few days. There are over 65 people invited!! This is going to be crazy. And expensive, but she's worth it!
Mmk, Sex and the City's on now so I'm going to go watch that.
Night all!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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I'm so glad there weren't dumb bitches at my prom!   
03:35pm 09/07/2006
 
mood: content
Haha. I'm watching Carrie...so the title should make sense. This shit is fucking crazy. Ew. Now I feel sick. I just ate some pretzels and drank some juice. Ew. I shouldn't have eaten. Oh well. Hahaha. Oh Homer.
Anyways. So...who knew the zoo is crowded on the weekend? Jesus..stupid old people wouldn't move over so Kellenah could see anything either. I swear...people keep getting dumber and dumber.
But yay for me. I'm braver then all of you, wanna know why?! Yes?! Too fuckin bad midgets! Yesterday was fun. I got to yell at my elderly neighbor. I was outside on my deck with my laptop doing homework when he turns on his sprinkler and gets my deck and computer all wet. I yelled "I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST SPRAY MY FUCKING DECK!" and that was the last time I felt any drops. Haha. He's silly anyways.
(ok, carrie is still really creeping me out)
Brendan spent the night last night. That sucked...what the hell are you supposed to do when you don't love someone and they don't love you back but I get so bored I want him to come over and he won't let me not talk to him otherwise he'll have nothing to do with his own daughter?!
Welp, gotta go!
Bye!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Kellenah's tat...I'm jealous   
12:38am 29/06/2006
 
mood: nauseated
So today was kinda gay...kinda not.
My mom had to take her car in to the shop so I had to let her use my car all day..had to drive around in Brendan's truck. Andrea calls me when I'm with him and is telling me about ambulances and dead body's at her neighbors but I have no idea what else she's saying becuz Brendan's truck is so "fuckingly, sweet" a.k.a. annoying as fuuuuuck!
But yeah, my mom had to wait for her meatloaf, or, turkeyloaf so I picked up Andrea, picked up my mom, saved the turkeyloaf from my overweight dog and then we went to the buffet at Pizza Hut. I didn't eat much cuz uh, yuck! but I still ended up feeling rather sick.
Kellenah's awake...hang on.....ok....waiting....mmk, now we're in my room so I can keep blabbing but she'll be happy.
So...where was I...oh yeah, at the buufet. So it was the kids, Zac, Andrea and I there and Paeton, Kellenah and I were done so I took them to play so Andrea and Zac could finish eating. They saw the tattoo vendor thing and started yelling "tattoo" after I told them what they were. We were being so loud but oh man, it was so fun! So I got Kellenah a tat and she's currently wearing it on her tum-tum.
So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I decided that tomorrow, after I get done with class, Kellenah and I are going to hang out here almost all day...maybe go to Target for bupa's...but yeah. I felt bad today because we never play in her room anymore, so tomorrow is all about playing what she wants, doing whatever she wants to do. :) I got lucky. None of you guys will ever have a kid this awesome...sorry to disappoint. But yeah. I dunno. I don't want to talk about why I'm thinking so much lately but all I know is that Kellenah is going to be the only person I care about seeing....she is too good to deserve this but I guess we'll see. I think we'll be fine.
I LOVE YOU KELLENAH!!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
love always,
Allison		  
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How fucking stupid can you be?!   
11:23pm 23/06/2006
 
mood: Bren, you are a homo
So Brendan is the biggest doosh bag I have ever met in my life..SERIOUSLY! I honestly hate that stupid mother fucker. Ok. So, me, him and Andrew went bowling at the Mermaid tonight. Then, after pulling teeth to try to get them to figure out what to do, Bren's like, let's go to McDonald's. So we did and we ended up being right behind Megan in the drive through. He starts flipping out cuz I made a joke about him and her and oh my ...., he's like "let's go..I don't even want to be here anymore" I'm like, "who the fuck cares, if you want food get it" and he's still flipping out, yelling at me about nothing. I personally think he was mad because there was another guy in the car with her...like he should be surprised..the girl get's around. :) JK. Anywho! So then we proceed to my house, him still yelling at me, so I told him to leave if he wasnt going to stop freaking out on me. Then I'm getting out of the car and he throws a pen at me. Hahaha. It would help if he could throw, but meh.
Enough about the bastard. I am so proud of myself today! I did the most craziest, best thing I have ever done in my recent life last night and I am so happy! It's all cuz E told me I should, so I did it. Yay! I wish I could find the girl that I was friends with from class and tell her too...but I don't think I'll ever see her again. Hope so though. She was like me only Asian. Haha.
Yarch. I work tomorrow morning. Have to wake up at 6...icky. I dunno about the job. I mean, I like it and I don't think I want to quit, unless I can work at the day-care instead, but I don't like the weird hours. It's a pain in the ass trying to find someone to watch your kid 4 times in two days. And, I dunno....I can't explain it, but oh well!
K well I'm going to go find out if anything has happened that's going to ruin me in the last few hours, so....night!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Ah....much betta!   
07:14pm 21/06/2006
 
mood: fine
So today and yesterday have been so much better! Yay! Lucky for me this is my last week of computer and biology class so hopefully I'll get good grades in them. I think I was just really stressed for a lot of the time last week.
And now I'm not talking to E anymore so that makes my life a little less complicated.
Except I still need to figure out what I want to do about work. I decided today that I will never let Brendan baby-sit Kellenah ever again. At least not by himself. I shouldn't have to drive home speeding between work and school wondering if Kellenah is awake being/doing something she shouldn't be doing...Brendan should be a grown-up too. And after what he did to me today....never. I have cuts and bruises everywhere on me and I have a HUGE bump on my head from him throwing me into the fucking door. Whatever. He's a doosh-bag. My mom wants to file assault charges on him, should I let her?! Yes?! Ok..maybe.
Well, I'm going to go now. Night night!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Too many good sayings I could use here...(insert your own)   
11:07pm 19/06/2006
 
mood: depressed
So this is me sitting in my room "reading my 18 pages of articles having to do with lung cancer." I'm too preoccupied to read right now.
Nothing really good is happening right now....let me think. I think I'm depressed. I don't even know how long I just sat there on the floor today...and yesterday, and so on. Just trying to find time to do what I want to do in between all the shit I HAVE to do is really bugging me. It's like, I have to drag myself place after place and I never just get to sit down and relax or have a good time. Hm. I wonder how long it's been since I went to the doctor. I have so many things that are bugging me, like aches and pains but I haven't gone in because I don't want to spend my time off sitting in the fucking doctor's office, unless I need to for Kellenah.
A good thing might be that I got a new job that I started this weekend. I work at a animal hospital nerby and I love woring with the animals but I HATE the hours. It's so hard to try to make sure Kellenah is going to be taken care of each time I have to go in and it's going to get much harder when I start working alone. Yarh.
Speaking of yarh, I could just be saying all of this because I am extremely tired because Brendan and Andrew Rauchbauer were over till like, 4 in the morning last night working on my homework and I didn't get any sleep. I couldn't fall asleep with Andrew there. I didn't want him to see me drool or something. Haha.
Arg. And the other thing bugging me is E. He's so incredibly stupid that I want to hit him in the face! Like, I'll be talking to him and we'll have a decent conversation and then I'll just call him because I said I would and I'm not a liar like him, and he ignores me for a while. Oh well. He's got too many ho's to even try to count anyways...as TJ so eloquently pointed out to me yesterday. He's not even worth it. He'll just be back with Big Bubba in a few weeks anyways..we all know it. I dunno. I mean everything mean I just said about him but it's like, he does just enough to make me actually want to talk to him and then strings me there. OH WTF. I know! He's doing to me what I did to him. Now I get it!!!! Oh seriously. That just hit me like a rock. I completely understand now.
The biggest thing that's bugging me though is that I have been so ornary lately..that I haven't been very patient with Kellenah. She deserves so much better then what I've been giving her the last week or so and I feel terrible about it. I think that everything else is just bugging me so much that when I get home is really the only time I can be mad about it and show how I really feel. Poor kid.
Hopefully life'll get better. I just wish I wasn't so hung up on guys right now. I loved it when I didn't give a flying fuck if I had a guy around or not and now it's like, if I don't have one around, I get so bored and need to find one quick. Even Francis will do about now. Haha. And no, stupid whore, I don't mean to have sex with....that's what you do.
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Terd   
10:27pm 11/06/2006
 
mood: FUUUUCK YOU!!
So....
......
......
My brain is mush right now. I have 4 assignments to do by tomorrow morning, none of which I can do because flash drives are being stupid. Then I have another assignment to do by Tuesday at 6 and I'm too lazy to do it. I hate how I am this summer! I'm not doing very well in my classes and going from all A's to not doing so well is really pissing me off, yet I can't seem to make myself work harder.
But the other day was fun! Went to Zach's graduation party....got to play pool, chase Kellenah around...like I say "good times, good times." I need sleep...I'm going to go to bed right after the big stink comes over today, if he even does.
Blah blah blah. My fingers are even too tired to stay awake right now. Oh but first I have to tell you about Kellenah's bed. Yeah....she's sleeping in a toddler bed now. Too cute! She was playing in it all day today until of course it was time to go to bed...then she wanted to be by me. Haha. Cutie. And she got like, 3 huge bins full of new clothes today. Some are cute....some are....not so cute but they were free so I ain't complainin!

Gotta go!

I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison
Mental note: Bren owes me $20, damn it!		  
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Ding, ding da ding ding ding   
01:00am 04/06/2006
 
mood: uuuhhhhh??
Hello there!
I am still really pumped after the wedding today. I should be totally drained, but I'm not..and it's crazy! Today was really fun though.
I got to walk about 1.5 miles in high heels to the boat the wedding was on. Ok. So you're saying "big deal," but I was carrying Kellenah, a packed diaper bag and a huge bag full of toys. Yarch..I think I just ripped a hole in my ear. Ow, mofo! Sup pimp? Wanna fight Pooch?!
Mmk. So anyways, I admit...I looked really, really cute today. I had a black silk halter and white silk pants and black heels. Plus the cutest pair of earrings. Then, I had the people at the hair place do my hair cuz we all know I have no idea how to do hair...did my make-up. It was so cute! Kellenah saw my eyes after doing my make-up and she wanted her's done too. So I gave her some sparkly stuff for her eyes. It was so cute! Then, at the wedding, there was this older guy names Randy that kept hitting on me and he kissed me before he left.....UH OK! I was so mad! I asked ZAac to come to the wedding with me and he couldn't cuz he got off work like, half an hour too late....that woulda been fun. Hmmm. I am really tired now....oh yeah. The wedding. So..the D.J. was really hot. I spent a long time staring at him...I really wanted to talk to him and me and him came close quite a few times, but then Kellenah runs to the top of the really steep chairs..so I had to go get her. Then the Captain was WHEW! I was in sailor heaven today. YUM! My dad was so sweet today. He kept offering to watch her so I could go do stuff but eh, she was with me.
It was so crazy to watch her dance today. She was like, running and flailing to the music. Everybody was watching her going "awwwww."
Sheesh. I can barely keep my eyes open right now. Euphoria...what the hell....this show is crzy. So I have to go....Good night!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison		  
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Summer Vacation!   
10:28am 12/05/2006
 
mood: good
Yay! I'm on summer vacation! From now until 7:45 Monday morning! Yes! I will never have a summer break again! Unless I become a teacher someday....not likely. I'm jealous of everyone who gets to have the summer off...you bitches! Anyways! I have two a's right now; just waiting for my other grades to come. I think I'll have another a and maybe a b. Stupid group class....too bad that really cute/sweet kid was in my class and I never talked to him or noticed him until like, 2 weeks ago. Oh well. Weird.
I am so happy for my Jilly bean! Really jealous too. She's happy and I'm glad she is, but I want that too. Haha. Now everybody is asking her out and I'm over here staring at people from 400 feet away who have no idea I exist. Ha. Oh well!
I have to drive by turtle lake today. I want to look at Pavillion's for Kellenah's birthday party. No, you're not invited and that's precisely why I am not going to say what day it's on, cuz you have a tendancy to show up where we are. Oh, nope, other way around. My bad.
Anyways. I talked to him yesterday....that was interesting. I wish I didn't do it, but I do...I am such a retard.
So, I decided to sell Brendan. He's a giant poopie. I'll take $20 for him! Honestly, I can hardly stand to be around him anymore. Dumb Fuck. Oh ok. Well, I have to go write a letter now.
See ya!
I love you Kellenah!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Love always,
Allison

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAETON! :)		  
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